Is more than one person in the room cranky pants at the same time?
Here is one way I shift it, fast!
Sometimes only one of is is off-kilter.
When that happens the happy people usually ignore them and go about their merry way. Sometimes the prevailing joy in the room laughs cranky pants back into happy land. Sometimes the cranky one will go off for some alone time to recharge, reflect, and get back in the groove.
But when more than one person is not connected? And we are all together? That is a recipe for bickering and ick.
It often starts off subtly.
So subtle you don't know it's there.
A "no" here. A half-ask-half-order for something. But soon it starts to degrade. The air gets heavy. Gloves are off. "I TOLD you not to do that!" and "Mom! She..." I jump in with my lemon-pinched face and start to micromanage.
Then it hits me. Oh!
I see it.
I decide I don't want it.
And I take a big breath and shout out, "Who has the vibration in the room?"
"Me!", says the happiest person, beaming, their hand waving high in the air.
"Them," says everyone else, pointing at that shiny, happy person who is waving their hand in the air, beaming.
From there we know what to do. We follow them. We make a conscious choice to match the frequency of their energy instead of our own. My kids know this. I repeat it to them often enough: "Like energy attracts. So if you are cranky and they are not, either you both have to end up cranky, you both have to end up happy, or you have to separate to stay where you are. Which one would you prefer?"
"Who has the highest vibration in the room?" is a reminder that since we are all eating breakfast together, or in the car together, or on an outing together... we get to decide if we want to keep fighting the happy person or start joining the happy person.
I haven't seen a time yet where we decided not to join in.
It's eye opening.
When we play this "follow the leader game" the bummed-out people usually blush when they realize what's been going on. Or nod. Or apologize. Negativity often wants to justify itself. It wants to fight to exist. So if it's around a happy person it will battle with both fists. Happy person makes a joke? Cranky person gets offended. Happy person accidentally bumps cranky person? Cranky person gets all miffed. Happy person doesn't even NOTICE something... that cranky person is all up in arms about.
We realize that we have been beating down the happy. Popping all of the pretty bubbles. Oops.
So, who has the highest vibration in the room?
It's not a contest. We don't keep track. And we don't feel jealous, either. We feel relieved when we all find our way again the way we like it: happy together.
Really Good Life... With Kids
Tips for how to live a fantastic life while parenting, raise connected, successful kids, and navigate relationships... happily.
Love, Alora :)
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