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If Law of Attraction Works Then Why Do Bad Things Happen?

10/12/2011

 
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When I first heard about the Law of Attraction – that we create our own reality – I disagreed.  I couldn't believe that I had created the pain I had felt in my life.

I know I didn't ask for my heart to be broken and I certainly could not believe that children would ask to be hurt or that people would create things like 9/11 on purpose.

Therefor, Law of Attraction must not work.  I ignored the teachings for years.

But in a time of desperation I gave it another shot because, what could it hurt?

Come to find out it does work; I had just been misinterpreting it all along.


How Law of Attraction Works
Law of Attraction does not say you get what you want.  It says you get what you attract.  What you think and feel and what you get are always a match.

Which means you could most certainly attract something you don't want.

For Example
Think of a single women who wants to get married.

She isn't asking for a far-fetched or out-of-the-ordinary goal.  She is clear about what she wants and is very specific about it.  And she really, really wants it.  In fact, she thinks about it all the time.

So if the Law of Attraction were true, why hasn't she gotten married yet?

Because what she wants and what she is feeling about what she wants are two different things.

"I just want a nice man.” she may say out-loud.

That sounds simple enough.  But if you listen to how she feels when she says that you may hear:

“Where have all the good men gone? I have dated and dated and look at me... I'm just getting older alone.  I have been patient.  I'm not asking for much.  Come on, give me a break – I just want a nice man!”

And since Law of Attraction gives you what you think and feel (which means vibrate) she is seeing more examples of how hard it is to find a good man.

Money Woes
The same thing happens with money.

“I want more money!”, someone says.  “I picture it coming to me!  I have fake 1,000,000 bills all over my house.  I read money-making books – where is my money?”

They may be saying they want money, but what they are feeling is the lack of money, stress about money, and fear about not having money come to them.

Which is why the Law of Attraction is bringing them more reasons to feel stressed about money.

So the short answer to the question of “How can bad things happen to good people?” is:

They are accidentally manifesting what they don't want instead of what they do want.

Their thoughts and feelings are not a match to what they want.

No Right or Wrong

Law of Attraction does not have a value system.

It doesn't believe something is good or bad.  It says – “I will gather like energies together.  That's it.  That's what I do.”

So if someone is worried about the safety of their home (or they just believe they have bad luck, etc.) and someone is planning to rob a home those two energies might attract each other and a burglary ensues.

Did the homeowner want to get robbed?  Of course not.

But while the homeowner said “I don't want to get robbed”...

...or “I am glad I have this home security system so that I don't get robbed”...

...or “I want to be safe (because I don't want to get robbed)” they were thinking and feeling about not getting robbed which is a similar vibration to being robbed.

So when things happen (whether you wanted them to or not) it is the Law of Attraction matching vibrations.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Law of Attraction and Compassion

If everyone is creating their own reality where does compassion come into play?  After all, you can't just blame your woes on bad luck or a bum break.

“Waaa!” I cry.

“What's up?” my husband asks.

“I don't have any friends in this new place we moved to.  I feel so lonely.”

“Well you attracted it.  Maybe now you'll make some changes.”

Grrrr.

Just because we all create our own reality doesn't mean compassion and understanding don't have a place.

“Awww honey, here, let me give you a hug.”

“Thanks, babe.  Now I'm going to go write a script about how much I love hanging out with my new friends so that I will start attracting some.”

Hearing and Heeding The Signs

Sometimes we are clear about what we want and we are even pretty good at thinking and feeling about what we want...

....and we still have something unwanted happen.  What's up with that?

A True Story

I had a surprise fender-bender with the mini-van.  So when my husband lent me his car to drive up north his last words were, “Don't crack up the car.”

Yikes!

I did NOT want to crack up the car.  And for over a decade I had never had an accident.  I never worried about driving and safety.

Until now.

My dominant vibration around the topic of driving was still good but my confidence was shaken.  So when the Universe gave me warning signs I botched them up.

“Just park there”, my friend said, pointing to a spot next to a big red building.

We were visiting her community property in the hills of California.  Much of it was not built out.

My gut said “No, don't do it” but my head said “Come on, there is hardly anyone here.  She owns the land.  She must know best.”

So I parked there.

After a tour of the property we went back to the car.  What I saw didn't surprise me much.

A pick-up truck had backed me in.  Of all the places to park in the vast, wide dirt lot he had chosen to park very close to my car.

Warning Bells
Once again my gut told me something was wrong but I couldn't put a finger on it.

Since I couldn't get a clear picture of why I was feeling uneasy I assumed the message was to back around the truck carefully.  That made sense.

I buckled up.

I still felt I didn't have the whole message....but it was time to go and I felt pressured so I didn't give myself time to figure it out.

I started up the car instead.

And as I backed around the truck successfully I felt a huge wave of smugness at my cleverness .  I gunned the engine in reverse...

....and tore a huge hole in my fender on a low, stone wall I had never noticed.

Gosh Darn-it

I was clear what I wanted. The Universe was delivering me messages through my emotions to help guide me and I still had an “oops”.

I could only sit there in my broken car and say, “Eyup.”  Now I see.

Bigger Than A Bread Box

That was just a fender-bender.  But what about something really big like an airplane crash?

Keep in mind that I am making this example up.

Also keep in mind that just because a person creates their own reality doesn't mean you can't feel compassion for them in their situation.

So with regards to a plane crash, depending on each person and what they are vibrating...
  • Someone might be completely flowing and vibrating with a long, healthy life so it never occurred to them to take a trip at that time or to that place.

  • Someone might have picked a different flight.

  • Someone may have picked that flight and got booted off because of it being overbooked.

  • Someone may have missed the flight because their alarm didn't go off.

  • Someone may have had met a long-lost friend in the airport and missed the flight because they got to talking.

  • Someone may have had a last-minute gut feeling to not board the plane and so they didn't.

  • Someone may have had a last-minute gut feeling to not board the plane and they did it anyway.

  • Someone may have felt that life is hard and they never get the breaks and they were miserable and stressed out booking the flight for financial reasons, mad they had to get up early, frustrated that they got a middle seat and as the plane started to go down said “Ain't that the way it always is in this miserable life?”

  • And someone else may have intended a happy life full of ease and grace and they found themselves on an airplane going down so that they could have a swift exit from this life into a new one.
In every case Law of Attraction was in action.  It gave each person what they were vibrating (thinking and feeling) and what they were allowing.  Without judgement.  Nothing more and nothing less.

It can be scary to think of it like this, but it can also be empowering.  If the Law of Attraction doesn't judge what you want and gives you what you think/feel (vibrate) then...

...anything really is possible!

But if this does scare you, it's just an indication that it's time to clean up what your are vibrating - and reading and learning about the Law of Attraction is a great way to help with that.

So pat yourself on the back for continuing to learn and do your best!  If you feel proud of yourself for that you are on the track to a better vibration and life!


Janet Janette Hall link
3/13/2013 12:05:59 am

The article was very helpful. I totally agree. Being positive is vital both mentally and physical. I feel when we go through the experience of the death of a close love one it is devastating. When you are devastated and in shock it is hard to maintain a healthy out look. I personally am struggling with a lot of issues that are out of my control. The effect of these unfortunate incidents is making me feel I have no power over my life. In to take control over my life I must no let these obstacles interfere and consume me. Example of what I would like toy is on a foggy morning when we can't see our hand in front of our face. It doesn't enter out mind that it isn't going away. We are careful and

Alora @ Really Good Life
3/18/2013 03:40:58 am

Janet,

Thank you for your comments. Yes, grief and loss can really put us in a fog, disconnecting us. That's a great analogy.

Asanda link
11/15/2015 07:20:20 am

Hi. Before I even finished reading this article, I just I understood you to the core of my being. I was looking for this clarity.
Thank you for this article, oh yes I should say 'thank me' because I have attracted this. WOW! blown away again.
Thanks.

Alora From ReallyGoodLife
11/19/2015 12:41:59 am

Asanda,

Oh wow from me to you! That is so awesome.Thank you for telling me. What fun to read your comment. I'm grinning ear to ear and so very happy for you!

:) :) :)
Alora

James
3/29/2016 08:31:01 pm

So tell me, friend. What happens when you think something will end badly, and yet turns out good? And what happens when you have no doubt in something good happening, and it blows up in your face? Both of these instances happen to me frequently, and yet the result is incompatible with the "Law" of Attraction.

It seems you address this but you don't actually answer the question. You segue into intuition which really has nothing to do with LOA. I bet when you had those gut feelings you dismissed them and replaced them with positive thoughts, as your LOA training told you to, huh?

Really, your story kinda contradicts your own point.

Alora From ReallyGoodLife
4/2/2016 08:49:27 am

Hi James!

Thank you for writing. I completely agree with how you feel. Law of Attraction can be very frustrating, even annoying in the beginning. Even for years. I remember when I started out with it the only reason I even bothered with LOA was because I had tried everything else. (At least it felt that way to me.) I had nothing left to try and this "Law of Attraction" thing kept popping up in my life and so out of extreme anger at the world I said "Fine, I'll give it a year." And I gutted my way through the practices, sometimes kicking and screaming, often very, very skeptical.

One of the challenge I had for years was that things would get better and then WHAM! they would seem to get really worse. Even worse than they were before. It wasn't until I kept practicing that, years later, I had the perspective to look behind me and see the patterns.

LOA is less about the thoughts than it is about the underlying belief system. And a belief is nothing more than a thought that is repeated over and over. This was hard for me to believe! But over time, by working to understand my thoughts and shift them, I was able to rebuild new belief systems. So although I was a happy person on the outside, a belief that "love hurts" like the songs they sing with the Romeo and Juliet feelings kept winning out. Or the belief that money is hard.

The bouncing back I had, where things felt better and then much worse was mainly two things.

1. I was starting to feel good more of the time which meant I had less tolerance for feeling bad. And the bad feelings had much more contrast to me than they did before. So now it was like "OUCH" Instead of going from anger to depression which wasn't such a drop it was from hope to despair, which was such a drop it I felt every stair on the way down.
2. I had a lot of belief systems that were not helping me in all area of my life. And in every relationship. So while I was starting to feel better with, say, one part of relationships like with friends, then family stuff would come up, my old beliefs would rampage right through me, and I'd feel worse. That continued until I cleaned up every area of my life enough (I say "enough" because we never get it done) that there were no more big shocks, only ripples. And because I had practiced LOA tools for years I knew how to shift through them.

Not only that, but when I started LOA (and even today) I had to face the people around me who thought I was nuts, who thought this stuff was like a cult, and who were annoyed by my desire to feel good because it seemed like an attack on the very fabric of society.

But I held my ground because I had to. Because I wanted to. Because I never wanted to go back to laying on the couch so depressed I could not get up. And little by little everything around me shifted. Friends either shifted with me or drifted away. My inner world changed and my outer world reflected it.

Now (since I started this in 2005) there are many people who ask me why I'm so happy. I don't try to convince them all to practice Law of Attraction like I did. No one path is right for everyone - that's the biggest thing I grew to appreciate about the world through my practice of LOA. There really is a beautiful world that works for everyone.

And, one last thing while I remember it: there is a big difference between denial and positive thinking. Denial is "money will come to me because I affirm it!" while the bills pile up and bankruptcy knocks on the door versus "I must do what I can while I also change my thoughts about this". So you pay the bills as best you can and you shift, as best you can, your thoughts about the situation. And you stop complaining about it. And you affirm what is good. LOA is not about putting your head in the sand, it's about doing what is necessary and shifting the energy behind it little by little so that the necessary stuff shifts too.

I thought about what you wrote for days before I had the chance to write and I'm grateful for your comment. It gave me the chance to really reflect and respond to what you wrote with that.

I wish you all the best!
Alora

P.S. Oh! Let me make sure I address the specific things you mention!

When you think something will end badly by turns out good... Or when you have no doubt in something and it turns out badly....

Thoughts are the noise on top of the real engine. The real engine behind Law of Attraction is the energy. (More sciency-people could talk about quantum physics here.) So it's the main feeling-tone behind something. The belief. It's often revealed by the "I knew that would happen" tool. Where something happens and you think "I knew that would that would happen." That reveals the underlying belief.

Also, assumptions that bad things are bad really trip things up. So if a person gets a flat tire they think "that is bad" but if we believe that everything is helping us, and we keep your perspective up about it, we allow the great things that situation is providing you to come to u

Alora From ReallyGoodLife
4/2/2016 08:52:46 am

Hahaha! My response was too long and got cut off. Let me paste the PS again:

P.S. Oh! Let me make sure I address the specific things you mention!

When you think something will end badly by turns out good... Or when you have no doubt in something and it turns out badly....

Thoughts are the noise on top of the real engine. The real engine behind Law of Attraction is the energy. (More sciency-people could talk about quantum physics here.) So it's the main feeling-tone behind something. The belief. It's often revealed by the "I knew that would happen" tool. Where something happens and you think "I knew that would that would happen." That reveals the underlying belief.

Also, assumptions that bad things are bad really trip things up. So if a person gets a flat tire they think "that is bad" but if we believe that everything is helping us, and we keep your perspective up about it, we allow the great things that situation is providing you to come to us. If we shut down it turns our boat upstream and now we have to paddle through the situation with frustration or feelings of loss. It's a tricky thing to start believing that everything that happens is helping but when that is anchored it really shows up.

I had a huge plumbing issue the day before Thanksgiving, for example, and because I had practiced this a lot I knew to relax into it and ask what amazing things it would bring. How was it helping me? Well, I got out of a lease early and moved to my dream city in time to buy my dream house when it came on the market at just the right financial time.... and more.

Did I "want" rats in the garage attracted to the water? Um, no. But they did no harm and it was an easy thing for the landlord to see and offer us a move-out early no problem.

Intuition is the key to making decisions that take the highest good of everyone into account. It's taking more than just the info the brain collects but also the information from the Universe (EVERYTHING) into account. How does a person know which house to buy? Which person to date? Which job to take? Where to live? What to say?

Intuition.

Intuition is another thing that can seem impractical or airy-fairy. I've learned a lot about the mistakes that are common with it and how to use it with practical application (and real results you can see) but I agree that word or concept can seem totally useless the way it is often used. And often people are interpreting the signals backwards. Like a bad feeling is not an omen of bad things. A bad feeling means what you are thinking the Greater You does not agree with. So "they don't love me" when it gives bad feelings is not a yes, it's a no. That one is a huge reason why people make decisions based on intuition that turn out poorly.

So I guess that could be reason #3 things went wonky for me in big way for years even though I thought I was doing it right: I thought I was heeding my intuition but I was reading it backwards.


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