Have you ever raised your voice at your kids? ("Stop yelling!" she yelled.) Haha!
Oh, boy, have I. More times than I care to remember. It's only now, ten years into parenting that I'm really starting to get it.
(And therefor, change it.)
If I notice something....
....it's because I'm either paying attention to it or because it's ME.
Which means that if I'm yelling at my kids to stop yelling, it's definitely me.
This goes back to the only parenting trick that really works.
It's a 2-step process.
1. Make a list of all the things you think should be different or better in your child.
Everything that drives you nuts about them. Everything that keeps you up at night worrying it will kill their success in life. Everything that embarrasses you. Everything that makes your life difficult.
2. Now work on those things in you.
I said that.
If you stop trying to get your child to clean up their room and instead tackle your own clutter issues, everything will change - including them keeping her room neat.
When you stop crabbing at your kids for being cranky and maybe meditate instead and dealt with your own inner ick, everything will change - including how your kids treat each other and themselves.
It's humbling. It's empowering. It's weird.
It can be hard. It can be easy.
But it's just like they always say: when you're pointing a finger at someone there are three fingers pointing back at you.
Right now I'm taking my health to the next level.
I just had a baby and I'm noticing more of what's "wrong" with me than what's "right". (Read: baby gut.) It's taking a lot of discipline not to notice every.last.thing.that.could.be.wrong.with.my.kids.
I'm making up imaginary medical symptoms as I go.
I know as soon as I have peace with my body, I will see peace in theirs. It's good parenting right now for me just to, you know, just shhhhhh.
Sometimes it's good parenting for all of us.