Sometimes you're trying really, really hard to be positive, visualize what you want and manifest your dreams. It even seems to be working -- a bit.
But then the wheels fall off the cart and suddenly it seems everything and everyone is out to get you. What do you do?
I suggest throwing a fit.
Let me explain.
You Want Something
Say you want a new car. You dream of your new car. You can feel the leather seats beneath you. You smell that new car smell. You're writing about your car, visualizing it, cutting out pictures of it and putting them around your house.
Everything seems to be going quite well.
A few weeks go by. There isn't a new car in your driveway yet but you have faith that your car is making its way to you.
Time continues to march on and you begin to wonder why you don't have that new car. You do more homework to uncover your blocks to having a new car. You do more visualizing. You seem to be doing everything right but where is your new car?
The next morning you get up and your current car won't start. Now you have no new car and your current car won't work. What. is. going. on. here.?
You ask a friend to drive you to work and you get there late, miss a meeting and your boss yells at you.
At this point you get really frustrated. You begin to think this whole "manifestation thing" is a load of hooey. You get angry at your life, at your job, at yourself. You get angry at your new car (which you still don't have). You are certainly angry at your current car sitting stuck in the driveway at home.
The Last Straw
When you get home your roommate asks you to lend them some money and you lose it. You throw a huge, no-holds-barred temper tantrum.
You kick. You scream. You rant. You rave. You let it all hang out.
For a few days afterwards you are utterly disgusted with life but you finally quiet down and say to yourself "Ok, I still want to be happy, so let's go back and look at what I want again". And you begin to turn your sights to what you want once more, including your new car, miracles start to occur.
The Miracles Come
Your mechanic wants to buy your car from you because they can fix it up and sell it for more money. A friend you haven't heard from in a while calls to catch up. You discover they are dating someone who happens to work at a car dealership.
And then the unspeakable happens. You get an extra landslide in taxes you weren't expecting, your mechanic buys your old car and your new car dealer contact hooks you up with the car of our dreams and you drive home in your "new baby" in what feels like a matter of minutes.
You're in a daze. How did it happen?
Very often, without realizing it, we are resisting the very thing that we want. We don't know we're doing it or we'd stop doing it, right?
To illustrate this point take a moment right now to consciously breathe into your body and relax your muscles. Breathe and relax your back, your shoulders, your forehead… don't forget your legs, your feet… have you found any tension yet? Were you conscious that you had it while you were reading this article?
Just like we can hold tension in our bodies without realizing it we can hold tension in our "vibration" that thwarts our manifestations. You can catch sight of it in a passing thought such as "I'm not sure I can afford a new car".
It Builds Up
But as the desire for the car grows, the small resistance we have towards allowing the car in our life grows, too. And then all the other little resistances we have build up, too. Until, like a pressure cooker up too high, it blows.
Properly executed a good temper tantrum can release the force of your built-up resistance known and unknown, until you are a wet noodle, spent and beaten down.
This is a very good thing.
Because in that moment of being totally exhausted and un-resisting, you can open the doorway to fully accepting anything that comes your way – especially the good things. This is often called "surrendering".
Here is a true story from my own life experience.
A True Story
While living in San Diego my husband and I realized we wanted to live somewhere different. We didn't know where, but we knew it wasn't San Diego.
We were very excited about finding a new place to live. We had meetings a few times a week dreaming of the kind of place we wanted to live and six months later we settled on Ashland, Oregon.
It Seemed Easy
Once we knew where we were moving the rest seemed easy. We begin to plan the logistics of moving our belongings and our daughter up to Oregon. Life felt exciting and new until one day, with our move date creeping up, I started to see resistance in my life experience.
Our current landlord wasn't responding quickly or easily to our notice to leave. We were wondering how my old car would make the trip. A friend we were relying on to help us might now be unavailable during our move.
I dealt with these hiccups just fine, it seemed, until one day I snapped. I literally just blew up. I think I may have stomped my feet. I certainly yelled at lot.
72 Hours Of Release
For about three days I yelled. I totally doubted myself about the move. I wondered if I was totally crazy for leaving my network in San Diego. I thought I must be insane to give away or sell most of everything I owned to move to a town I'd never seen before. I thought I was just a delusional positive-thinker, out of touch with reality.
In short, I thought I was fooling myself.
But then, just as suddenly as a tornado, my temper tantrum ran its course and left behind it a calm, quiet, tentative stillness.
For a few more days I walked on tip toes, enjoying the newborn-baby balance I was feeling. I slept a lot. I took some deep breaths.
And then I did a very important thing.
I sat down and picked up from where I left off – manifesting my fantastic move to Ashland.
It was then that miracles began to occur, one after the other.
Lo And Behold
As it turned out, my mechanic was selling a mini-van the exact color of one I had wanted. I wasn't even planning on this because I figured it was a half-baked manifestation I wasn't even sure of – but there it was! My husband listed my car on the internet and it sold in hours.
We found a different friend to help us move. In fact, droves of them came out. We found a great place to live the first day we looked in town. The list goes on and on.
Giving myself permission to throw a huge temper tantrum was a big part of my success.
I let myself vent everything that was frustrating me. I got everything out that was bothering me. I got really, really clear about what I didn't want.
As soon as it was over, I felt like a wet noodle holding a white flag of surrender. I said "I give up". I said "I'm tired of master-minding this, I just want what I want – make it happen". I said "I accept".
Let Yourself Go
So many times we don't allow ourselves the luxury of a great and wonderful temper tantrum. We keep putting a happy face on things until we go right past the movement of anger and down into the dangerous stillness of depression and defeat.
So many times we don't let our temper tantrums go hog wild and run their course like a flash fire. We resist them, dampen them or stretch them out into multiple, small outbursts (also called "passive aggression").
We prevent the real tantrum from releasing all of our built up resistance.
Now this big tantrum may only come when you have a big want you're asking for such as a place to raise your child or a soul mate or the job of your dreams. After all, the resistance is only as big as the want.
For Next Time
So the next time you hit a patch of time where it feels like the wheels are all falling off and everything you've been planning, visualizing and dreaming isn't coming true, remember this.
A no-holds-barred temper tantrum may be the key you need to unlock your feeling of release and abandon so that you can allow your big dreams to come into your life.
A great temper tantrum can uncover what you don't want so that you can get in touch with what you really do want.
And then miracles can happen.