This idea has been on my mind lately. Weeks ago I was really struggling with something–I can't even remember what now, ha! But I do remember feeling stuck in some negative spiral about a topic. So stuck I couldn't decide if I wanted to get angry or give up. So stuck I didn't know what tool to use or how I was going to get myself out of this one.
In a wee moment of surrender (or maybe I was just taking a breath) a message popped through so loud it could have echoed.
I do remember thinking for a moment: How odd that the Guides told me what not to do. Wasn't Law of Attraction about focusing on what you DID want? So I laughed and that's when I remembered to let go.
Not of the outcome.
Not of the dream.
Not even of the people I can't control.
I remembered to let go of fighting reality.
I don't remember what was bothering me but I do remember the feeling I got when I stopped my invisible battle and I just...looked. It was the most powerful, freeing sensation.
Imagine not trying to change anything.
Not judging it. Not condemning it or even praising it. Imagine not trying to shift it, put an affirmation on it, or make it go away.
What happens when you can create a space like that?
Source fills the space.
Over the course of the days and weeks that followed my life changed in some pretty miraculous ways. Deep, core shifts where relationships that seemed stuck completely changed. Ideas were new. Solutions arrived from all directions.
My Guides are telling me that not pushing opens up every area of life to a system upgrade. Health. Finance. Fun.
When we let Source in, EVERYTHING WE WANT STARTS TO MEET.
I'm a huge believer in cycles. You do need contrast to bring about new ideas but you also need to allow that contrast to setting into solution. Sometimes it feels great to tackle a misaligned vibe with a handy check-list item.
Appreciation list. Check!
But if all that starts to feel like plastering a smile onto your face and you long for relief you just can't find...
One more sneaky video! Ok, this video is not a secret but I did sneak down to my office to record it while my family was occupied. So here it is: Tada! How to do a mind map. Someone was asking about it this week and I said I would give them instructions. More people asked. Then I decided to do a video. Then I did a video and realized I had already written a blog post about how to do a mind map. Huh. But maybe someone would prefer video instructions so I'm posting this video anyway.
If you have a big dream that feels too big to manifest, do a mind map.
You may find that the dream is really right on track and you only have a few (or one) small adjustments to make.
Hope it helps!
(If you want to see Mind Map manifestation instructions in a video instead of reading, click here.)
If you are trying to manifest something and you are stuck or don't even know where to start a Mind Map can help. Usually when we think about something we think about the whole thing. This can cause problems.
"I want to lose weight."
From afar that statment seems pretty clear but when you take a closer look at it there are a gazillion moving parts inside of it.
The same goes for manifestations of career.
"I want a job I adore."
Even if you can find the feeling of that, when you zoom in on the topic even just a little bit you might feel overwhelmed at all it entails.
"I want to buy a house."
"I want to hire a cleaning service."
"I want to get a new car."
Look more closely. There are swirls and movements and layers inside every want – even the desires that seem rather simple like "I want a new shirt I can wear to work". What does that mean? What kind of shirt? What price? What look? What color?
Nothing is just one thing.
Let me explain.
In 2015 I realized I wanted to buy a house. I had never owned one before and the idea intrigued me. What would it be like to be able to paint the walls whatever color you wanted and stay as long as you can stay? Grow things in a yard you kept year after year? Build a long-term plan around your idea of "home"?
But then the idea felt overwhelming at times.
How do you do that house-buying thing? Mortgages and choices and long-term committment? My mind simultaneously snagged and ran rampant all at the same time. Was it the prospect of math or keeping it clean that daunted me or was it something else? Was getting a house in alignment with me? What comes next? Help!
That's when I learned how to do a Mind Map.
I have it somewhere here in my office... (Yes, the house I bought has an office for me! For me! Just for me! Muahahahaha!) but if I take the time to look for it I won't finish this post so I'll draw a new one on my computer instead. It's just an example and not completely filled in. Here it is. It's very fancy.
Here's how to make yours:
Mind Map Steps:
1. Get a piece of blank paper and draw a circle in the center. In that circle write what you want to manifest. Put a bit of feeling with it like: "A job I love" or "A life partner I adore and marry".
NOTE: While I made my Mind Map example online so I could put it in this post I recommed you use paper and pen/pencil. The process of writing is clarifying.
2. Draw a circle around that circle. In that circle write 2-3 things that are core concepts for what you want to manifest. Only write down things that feel good.
3. Around those circles on the paper, anywhere you want, start making lists. Brainstorm. Brain dump. Get out everything that comes to mind about that topic. For a job it could be:
For a change in weight it could be:
Whatever comes to mind, jot it down. Don't edit yourelf. While the writing inside the circles has to feel good the lists outside of the circles do not. If it comes to mind, write it down.
4. After you have you have completed your brainstorming / brain dump take a look at everything you have written – really pause and look – and circle the concepts or ideas or items that don't feel good.
Those are your blocks.
You may be surprised at what you didn't circle. I know I was.
In my Mind Map for manifesting a house I assumed I would have an issue with keeping it clean (because it would be a bigger house than the one I was currently renting in the Bay Area, darnit). But no, that wasn't a problem. I thought it would be leaving my friends. But no, that wasn't an issue either. Although I would miss them I felt at peace with the choice to move (as the Bay Area wasn't where I saw my new home) and I knew they supported me 100%.
It wasn't the money. The mortgage. The math.
It wasn't the prospect of gutters. Or choices. Or committment.
It was leaving family.
Specifically, my amazing in-laws who lived 20 minutes from us in San Jose. I stared at that circle on my Mind Map around "local family" and I lost it. Suddenly I was 6 years old all over again moving from New Jersey to Michigan with my new step-dad and mom and sister to a state where we knew no one. I was bereft. And I couldn't imagine doing that to my kids.
I was in a class when I made this Mind Map and my sharing partner was such a loving, warm soul. She was also a grandmother who's story was perfect for me right then and there. (Thank you, Universe.) She put her hand on mine and said: "My daughter and grandkids moved away to buy a house. It's hard but I know it's the right thing for them. They have to live their life and do what is best for them, just as you need to do the same for you and your family."
I looked into her eyes and a peace decended around me. Instead of a big, tangled, scary mess the idea of moving and buying a house suddenly seemed...doable. I knew what was bothering me and so now I knew what to work on. I could do that.
I grieved, and I let go.
What followed was an amazing turn of events so miraculous you just can't doubt the Universe's brilliance when you hear it. You see, I did move to a new state and I did buy my dream house (with my very own office!) and my in-laws are still 20 minutes away. They moved too. And now they live in THEIR dream house.
So don't let a project you are working on, whether it's health, career, money, love, or life in general, feel like an overwhelming issue forever. Make a Mind Map and see what you really need to work on, and maybe even more importantly, what you don't.
Every emotion has a frequency. The lower the frequency, the worse the emotion feels. That make sense, but have you ever tried to put all of the emotions on a scale from the very lowest to the tippy-top highest? Abraham did it and wow, is it eye opening.
Now you know where you are and, more importantly, what comes next.
You cannot jump from the feelings on the bottom directly to the ones on the top. It’s too far a leap. Like a dial on an old radio, even if you zip fast you are still passing through all of the channels on your way to a new station. (Perhaps I should say “like the scroll dial on an iPod. That’s more modern.)
You learn about the emotional scale in my very favorite book for Law of Attraction newbies and experts alike: Ask And It Is Given.
The Emotional Guidance Scale
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
From the book “Ask and It is Given”, pg. 114
I found an old blog I had archived years ago and forgotten. Look at what I posted on May 17, 2008 - it's awesome! (BTW, that 4 yo is 10 now, we don't eat soy anymore, we did move into a bigger house, and I still love washing dishes.)
If you are feeling frustrated, trapped, or otherwise wanting to run away from home, read this:
I had a great Mother’s Day.
My husband pampered me with the perfect combination of flowers, attention and time off. But come Monday I had to ask myself time and again, what is my problem? Instead of feeling renewed I wanted to claw my eyes out.
The littlest thing triggered me.
“Get me more soy milk.”
“Please? Can I get a please? WHERE IS THE PLEASE?!“
I felt like a caged animal.
I pursed my lips and paced around the house – a feat which is both easy and hard to do.
Easy because the house is so small. Hard because there are usually toys on the floor, the couches, the coffee table, the kitchen table, the kitchen bench, the kitchen floor and if they could be, suspended in air by the sheer volume of their presence.
In fact, come to think of it, we should move. The house is too small, my kids are demanding and I hate my SAHM day job.
Whoa! Back up a bit! Where did this come from?
When Law of Attraction Screws With Your Head
I’ve been practicing the Law of Attraction for years now. I know how to manage your thoughts to find a better-feeling place.
Appreciate your kids. That’s it. Think good thoughts. You love them.
Ok, appreciate the house. You love this neighborhood. Think about that.
“Get these toys outta my way!”
Ok, your husband?
“Oh, he-who-is-enjoying-time-with-adults-right-now? Riiiight.”
The fact that you can wear sweats all day?
“I feel fat.”
Nothing was working.
The more I thought about it the more I realized that with the exception of Mother’s Day, these creeping thoughts, the feeling of being caged up and the woe-is-me pattern had been stealthily building for days. They were so stealthy I didn’t notice them.
(Shh, hush up back there or she’ll find out about us and re-align us into oblivion. Stay close now. We’ve got her right where we want her.)
I needed some serious help. I was spiraling down fast.
Dear God, please give me some insight into what is going on and how to get out of it!
Why I Love Dishes
My epiphany came (as they often do) while I was doing the dishes.
“Stop fighting reality.”
I paused mid-dish. Then I threw back my head and laughed.
It all made perfect sense now.
I kept wanting more free time, more space, more ease, more intellectual stimulation, more more more…
…while I was focusing on what I did not like.
You cannot move to a new reality while you are still stuck in the old one, it is law.
And the old reality, being the more practiced one, the more familiar one, the I’ve-already-unpacked-my-bags-and-chosen-my-side-of-the-bed-one must be dealt with carefully.
My score was three out of four.
I was denying my feelings. Everything is fine. Just FINE, thank you.
I was fighting it. I refuse to feel put upon! Kids – tend to yourselves!
I tried to put a happy face on it. How can I be ungrateful? My family is awesome. I will smile no matter what because they deserve a happy mom.
“Stop fighting reality.”
Ok. Let me look at my life. I have a four year old. I have a baby. I’m a stay at home mom. Kids require attention. They have needs. Life is not as it was when I was single.
As soon as I was able to look around at “what is” without judgment, without flinching and without a fight I felt immense, incredible and immediate relief.
I am ready to focus on what I DO want without the baggage. I am in love with my life. I purr with gratitude
My daughter pops her head into the kitchen just then. “Can you get me more soy milk, please, mommy?” She is all bright and shiny. She smells like sunshine.
Nothing has changed in those fifteen minutes except me. But that makes all the difference. :)
We all want great health. But if you don't have it right now you might be asking yourself, "How come I'm not motivated to get it?"
We've all been there. You start going to the gym and then you stop. You start eating a better diet for you and then you stop. You start walking around the block after dinner and then you stop.
What's going on?
People fail to achieve health because they try to tend to the body without tending to the mind first. The truth is, health is all in your head.
Love you, Alora :)
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