This is not an article about homeschooling.
It is not an article just for kids.
It's about freeing you to realize you are not stupid, no matter what a GPA says.
And neither is your child.
One of the reasons I homeschool my kids is because I grew up thinking I was stupid.
That's a horrible word but that was the word I had in my head. Math was hard (except for geometry). Physics made my eyes cross. I didn't remember what I learned in history class enough to regurgitate all the dates.
I remember how bad I was at those subjects. I spent so much time trying to get by in them. I gave all of my energy to those subjects that were of little to no interest to me instead of realizing what I was excelled at.
I was a wiz in my English classes. I read and understood Shakespeare early. I could dig into themes and write papers comparing concepts with my eyes closed. I was amazing in Yearbook class. That was a fun year of collecting people's stories, encouraging them to smile for photos, developing pictures in a lab (this was before digital, kids!) and creating layouts on paper (again, no computers) for the final book.
I was a hoot in theater.
I was amazing in marching band.
But in the classes where grades mattered so you could be considered "smart" I suffered. I suffered so much.
Come to find out I have high Emotional Intelligence. I excel at inter-personal skills. In Myers-Briggs land I'm an ENFP but that doesn't speak all the volumes of what I can do.
I can sense vibration, which means I'm super-sensitive and might cry for an hour if you jump out and startle me but it also means I can navigate a life coaching session with a client with amazing insight.
School does not celebrate these skills.
School tells you to be quiet. Sit still. Don't talk. Get your work done. Eat your lunch in 20 minutes. Don't walk... run... to class because you only have five minutes between bells.
School tells you that your grades make up who you are.
School tells you that your overall GPA in all the subjects–even the ones you will never care about when you get older, never have a job in, and never need to use to that degree–decide your success in life.
It just isn't true.
I know people with amazing GPAs who struggle with their career because they have low inter-personal skills.
My husband met a man who made 60k a month (a month!) even though he could not read. He used his amazing people skills, his great sense of gratitude, and his power of sales to create his own career.
I know people who still add on their fingers (me) who can have a five minute conversation with someone and help them uncover an issue that has been holding them back for decades.
I know people with amazing grades who are miserable.
I know people with terrible grades who are miserable.
And I know people with all sorts of grades who are happy.
I wanted to homeschool my children so they could have enough skills to navigate life and then figure out what they excel at.
(Chances are the things they excel at are the things they love.)
One of my favorite stories (you may have heard it and you will probably hear it again) is about the little boy who was obsessed with turtles. Obsessed. His parents homeschooled him so they let him spend all of his time with turtles thinking he would grow out of it.
He never grew out of it.
He was into turtles as a kid. As a tween. As a teen. And now, as an adult, he's on the of the world's leading expect on what? You guessed it: turtles.
I don't know what his GPA is. I don't know how well he did in math or history. I DO know he found something he loved and he got to run with it all the way.
If your child is struggling with academics because they have a dyslexic process oriented brain, that's one thing. Learning how to read and spell is a fantastic skill and in most cases necessary.
But if they are struggling because they just don't care about those subjects or those subjects are not in their wheelhouse... what is?
What are they great at?
What comes naturally to them?
Let's focus on that.
And don't worry, if college isn't obsolete by the time your child is 18 they can always start at a community college and transfer later if they wish. There are 1,000 ways to get a degree and a high GPA is only one of them.
And if you are an adult who grew up thinking you were stupid, think again.
I have stopped putting off trying my husband's latest health experiment because, let's face it, he's usually right. And by usually I mean 99% of the time.
Which is why when he told me "I'm taking cold showers now!" with the enthusiasm of a child with a new toy I knew I would be taking one too the next morning, if just to try it out.
Come to find, out, I love them.
There is all sorts of science-y stuff you can research about it but the short version is:
I'm convinced now that my life is about how I can live like a cavewoman with all the trappings of modern life. Sleeping on earthing sheets so I'm grounded like I'm outside but I'm inside with my Netflix. Taking a cold bath/shower like I'm waking up in nature next to a live stream. (Not Netflix.)
But I'm not that hard-core and getting into swimming pool still makes me squeal like a mouse and tuck my shoulders up into my ears. So here's how I do cold showers without feeling like I'm in the polar bear plunge:
I start my showers warm.
Yep. That's it.
My showers are never as hot as they used to be, but they never start out as cold as they end up. (At least not so far.) I step into a warm shower, feel like it's too warm now and cool it off gradually. By the end I'm doing a super cold rinse for about 30 seconds before I get out.
What is super cold?
Heck, I don't know. Your cold may be way colder than mine. Make it as cold as you want. :) And is it a true 30 seconds? Probably not. I don't count.
But it works for me and when I don't take the shower cold anymore I miss it.
I honestly never would have thought it.
Frequency Music For Stress Relief, Anxiety Help, Sleep Improvement, Body Issues, Group Dynamics And More
Frequency music changed my life. It dramatically reduced or removed:
Testimonials from other people say fantastic improvement for all sorts of things:
So what is frequency music?
It's music tuned to a specific frequency. For some reason, once upon a time, it was declared that music was to be tuned to 440 Hz (Hertz). That's what the music you hear on radio stations, iTunes, etc. is.
In technical terms:
"A Frequency of 440 Hz means that a single trough and peak of the sound wave oscillates 440 times per second or equally that 440 sound waves are produced per second."
Hertz = How many times the sound bounces in one second.
Frequency music is a term for music that is specifically tuned to a different frequency than the 440 Hz norm.
Because 440 Hz is not compatible with the human body. It's jarring. It's not helpful to cells. Conspiracy theorists will say that 440 Hz was picked when war mongers during WW2 wanted to stir up the populace into unrest. I don't know if that's true or if no one really thought about the effect of 440 Hz at all. Regardless, if you are sensitive, you will FEEL THE DIFFERENCE.
Can everyone feel the frequency?
No. Not directly.
Scientists have discovered that there are over 200 mammals–including humans–who have sensitive nervous systems. Nature designed this so that all of the deer don't go rushing into the field willy-nilly. Some will pick up environmental clues that those non-sensitive deer can't sense. Not all deer are sensitive, however, because new food needs to be found and we all can't stay at home tucked up under a blanket and survive the winter.
I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I am also an Empath. I am so sensitive that I have a 100% accuracy rate of feeling a .mp3 player with frequency music on it (the volume so low you can't hear it) and telling you whether the music is playing or not and WHICH FREQUENCY is playing.
I know someone who is Highly Sensitive but does not claim to be an Empath. She can tell you if the music is playing but not what frequency it is.
I know a very kind person who is not sensitive who can't tell if it's playing at all but if you play the music in a room (sound so low you can't hear it) and then you take it away after a few days she will say "something doesn't feel right".
I know someone who is not sensitive, a nice person for sure but not normally emotional, who says "what are you talking about?" That being said, when the music is played and they don't know it, I have noticed there is still a calming, positive effect.
It works whether you can sense it or not.
What are the different frequencies that are "better" than 440 Hz?
YouTube has oodles of frequency music on it. 432 Hz is a popular one. I saw that one for years but never felt drawn to it. Now I know why. It wasn't until I discovered WholeTones that I figured out 432 Hz isn't my jam. 444 Hz now... that one is fantastic.
Michael from WholeTones has a site that is very marketing heavy. Sales-pitchy. Don't let that fool you. He has someone running his website but his product and his intent are pure. At least that's what my experience and my intuition tell me. ;)
He was a musician who got into drugs and all sorts of ug who went to Jerusalem and had an old piano player see him in a bar and was like, "I've been waiting for you, here is the key to healing music, go do something with this."
Michael was like, "What?"
And then he was blown away and his life was never the same again. So he gathered some open-hearted musicians, tuned their instruments to a specific frequency, and they played.
Here are the WholeTones frequencies with my notes in bold.
I DARE YOU TO STAY AWAKE. SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN'T STAY AWAKE.
This may be the frequency your child likes for optimum sleep so you can sleep in a little longer. (OMGosh, mine did, thank you WholeTones.)
Sleeeeeep. AND heal your brain. Can you say, serotonin? Great for depression, chronic anxiety OCD, etc.
Peace, wellbeing and an openness to receive healing. Defense mechanisms lower, and unhealthy fear, guilt and shame diminishes. Known to positively support blood, liver function, bones, brain health (neurotransmission) and kidney function.
Eat something that feels awful? Listen to this.
Break negative cycles such as procrastination, self-medication, eating junk food, and more. Sluggishness and lethargy disappear. Known to positively affect digestion, stomach issues, metabolism, prostate, gallbladder, headache, and lower back problems.
The heart tone. So good for everything.
The Key of David is far more than a frequency, it is the master key that precipitates the other frequencies. As a tonic key, it contains multiple health benefits and has been known to establish peace in the midst of chaos.
Women. This. Is. It. Also, guys, of course. Fantastic to shift the body. Can you say DNA?
Transform restores broken DNA, the source of disease. Known to positively balance hormones, pelvic issues, PMS, pre-menopause, muscle tension, pericardium heart muscle, weight problems, lymphatic and circulation issues.
Make kids stop fighting. Create amazing group joy. Flow with life.
The Bridge fosters forgiveness and peace in relationships. Known to positively effective the endocrine system especially the adrenal glands, as well as gallbladder issues.
Connect to your Higher Self. Weeeee! CLARITY.
Deep spiritual and emotional healing. Awareness of ones spirit. Known to positively affect thymus and immune system, cleansing of infection (viral, bacterial, and fungal), upset stomach, pancreas, heart, blood and circulatory system.
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS WHILE DRIVING. PUTS YOU RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BODY INTO MEDITATION ZONE. MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME.
This frequency appears to be purely spiritual.
Warning: Start at the low frequencies first until you get used to them.
I knew someone who got the music, played 852 Hz on repeat all night, and woke up feeling horrible and then had an existential crisis. Starting at a high frequency for long period of time is like jumping right into a hot tub. Aaahhhhh!!! Hot tubs feel great but you have to ease into it.
If you are not used to feeling good, a high frequency can be too much for you. When I started listening to WholeTones I hovered around 417 Hz for some time. Weeks. And then I craved 444 Hz on repeat for weeks. And up it went. Now I know where I am in life based on what frequency feels good to me. If I need an "in day" I'm often on 528 Hz. Not feeling well? 417 Hz. When I'm ready to get out in the world (improv class, anyone?) I usually jam to 639 Hz. Sometimes when I'm really in the zone and new thing are popping and I want ULTIMATE CLARITY I'm up at 741 Hz.
(I NEVER play 852 Hz unless I want to meditate. That one throws me right out of my body.)
And sometimes I tune in to the people around me and pick a Hz that feels right for all involved. I'm a stay-at-home-mom so harmony is key.
The thing is, you can tell what feels good for you. Listen to your body and go from there.
I carry my music in my pocket. Here's how and why.
I'm SO SENSITIVE I feel when the music isn't with me. I can honestly tell what people are feeling. I can feel what people are feeling. (Emotions are just frequencies after all.) Carrying the music with me is like having a bubble of positive, harmonious awesome around me. I'm able to walk through the world without getting emotionally exhausted or anxious.
Bonus: as an feeling extrovert, I'm way more quiet and present now.
(I have a theory that feeling, talkative extroverts may just be talking a lot as a defense mechanism.)
I searched and searched and finally found a .mp3 player that has a speaker. It's cheap and so is the speaker but no worries. The quality of the sound doesn't matter because it's still the same frequency.
Here is the .mp3 player I use, found on Amazon.
Go to YouTube and type in some frequencies. Listen to some samples of the regular 440 Hz. Try out some of the other ones. See how you feel. If you want of what I've got, check out WholeTones where you can get digital downloads, CDs or now even an iTunes app.
I’m in LOVE with the Myers-Briggs system and how it’s helped me understanding people and parenting. (As an ENFP, mind you, I love EVERYTHING. Especially emojiis.). ;)
One of the knocks against the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) is how it can stereotype or pigeonhole people. “We are not all the same!”
No, we aren’t.
But the MBTI isn’t asserting that people are all the same, it’s asserting that there are cognitive functions that we lean towards naturally:
How we recharge.
How we take in information and make decisions.
How we perceive and work with time.
Inside those functions we have a lot of personal preferences. I have an ENFP friend who is meticulous in her dress and makeup. Matching earrings. The whole thing.
I’m not that way.
If I even remember to look in the mirror before I leave the house it’s a special occasion. I could blame it on having kids but she has kids too, so….
That being said we are both extroverted (charged up by groups). We both are future-oriented in thinking. We assign meaning to, well, everything. And we have the same rush-around-late thing with time. We have the same “functional stack” going on in our brains.
So what does this have to do with using Myers-Briggs with your family and your parenting?
It’s all about the intent.
Set the intent for Myers-Briggs to give you new insights so you can work WITH your child and your spouse more harmoniously. Set the intent that it opens up better pathways to communication. Set the intent that it helps you love and appreciate who they are and who they are not. Set the intent that it helps you know how to best help THEM to succeed in ways that speak to them.
And then let them be the unique people they are.
That’s the win-win of Myers-Briggs. Understanding AND acceptance. Two fantastic things for a family to thrive.
I just found this post I forgot I wrote. Ha! This is based on the Myers-Briggs personality typing system.
Do you have a kid who waits until the last minute to do something? It’s almost midnight, you have to leave for a family trip at 6:00am, and their suitcase lays open on their bedroom floor still empty?
If so, chances are your child is a Perceiver and they are not waiting until the last minute because they are lazy… because they are trying to drive you nuts… or because they don’t care.
They wait until the last minute because that’s when they make inspired decisions.
Perceivers see the world as possibility. They find stimulation in open-ended situations. Going on a trip? Let’s not over-plan. How will could we possibly know everything to make a decision until we get there, anyway? Once we arrive, the massive amounts of real-time data flooding over us will make decisions clear. What fun!
Judgers, on the other hand, prefer the opposite. Those with the Judging function like to close doors in advance, creating a clear hallway to walk. Ahhh, that feels good. So they often plan out their trips in advance, identifying potential problems and solving them ahead of time. And their suitcase? It was packed last week.
So what should you know about raising a Perceiver Child?
Their last-minute tendencies do not mean you have failed them as a parent. They also do not mean they will be unsuccessful in life.
Perceivers who embrace their last-minute function learn to work WITH it. They clear their calendar the day before a trip for that last-minute burst of energy. They relax the week before a trip and look forward to it, instead of spending the time feeling horrible about themselves and stressed out that they haven’t packed yet.
And they thrive with parents who understand and embrace their natural way of working too.
You can thrive too.
Whether you are a Perceiver or Judger yourself, communicating and setting boundaries ahead of time will give you the peace of mind you need to either pack last-minute yourself or get some much-needed sleep.
After all, just because they like to work last-minute doesn’t mean you have to be put out.
If they are old enough, talk to them about YOUR boundaries. When are you going to bed? When is the laundry room closed for the night? What do they need so they don’t have to wake you up asking you questions? And how will you both work together to get them up in the morning–nicely–regardless of how much sleep they did or did not get?
It’s amazing the teamwork that happens when we feel like there is nothing wrong with us.
And for a Perceiver packing last-minute, writing their paper last-minute, or giving you their Christmas list the night it is due there IS nothing wrong with them; they are just working with their natural gifts.
And that’s always something a parent can celebrate.
This sounds silly but seriously...try it.
Feel guilty? Had a fight? Wish you could make things right with your child but:
Child Whispering is a-maz-ing. It goes like this:
You sneak tippy toe into your child's room while they are asleep. You stand near their bed, close enough where you can see them. You put your hands on your heart (OK, that's not necessary, but darn if you won't feel way more heart-felt and connected if do) and you speak, softly, whisperingly, sweet words like:
"I'm so sorry. I love you. I wish I had done things differently, but I was frustrated. I want you to know how much I care. You mean so much to me. When you wake up, I want you to feel amazing. I want you to feel loved. I want you to feel connected. I want you to feel like the world is a beautiful place. You are adored."
Whisper until you feel peace. Whisper until you have tears streaming down your face. Whisper until you are done, in whatever way that looks and feels for you. Then sneak out.
Don't wake them up!
Go to bed and wake up to the miracle of morning. You will be amazed.
Also, be kind to yourself. You are doing your best and sometimes parenting is hard.
It was freezing here the other week at park day. The kids were running around without gloves on–impervious, what gives?–but the moms were standing around freezing. As I got blankets out of my minivan (which doubles as a closet) I wished I had brought my cloak. Sure, I would look like the total geek I am and then so, but OMGOSH THEY ARE WARM AND SURPRISINGLY PRACTICAL.
And then I found this little gem on my computer I forgot I wrote on 12/31/2014. Hahaha! Enjoy.
Winter Coat? Bah. I've Got Something Even Better.
OMgosh I have just discovered the most amazing thing to wear in cold weather if you have a baby or toddler EVER. Before I tell you what it is I must warn you. It's not conventional. (No mall purchase here.) If you wear it you are going to have to get your fun-face on. And people are going to want to talk to you and ask you about it. But honestly, once you try it on in the biting wind you are never going back.
Are you ready?
Really, really ready?
Super-duper - OK OK!
It's a cloak.
That's right. A full-on, button around your neck, flowing down to your ankles, got-a-hood-on-it fantasy fiction cloak.
I wore mine today in the biting wind with my 13 month old baby boy. I felt like a super-hero. I was impervious to cold because my legs were warm, my butt was covered when I sat down on the metal benches, and my arms were still near my body where I generated heat. Plus, I could throw it over my shoulder and pose.
(A must in any park-day situation.)
But enough about me. When I picked up my 13 month old I could prop him on one hip, wrap one half of the cloak around him and then cover him up in the front with the other half. This kept his dangling legs and little hands out of the cold. (Can you keep mittens on a baby? If you can, tell me how!) Why don't I use a blanket? I have tried blankets but they never stay on. (Can you keep a blanket on a baby you are carrying? If you can, tell me how!) The cloak, since it was buttoned around my neck and flowing so magnificently over my stoic shoulders in an iconic display of awesomeness, stayed on both of us, even while I tossed that 20 lb. bag of rice for distance.
(I did. Woot!)
Nursing? Bottle feeding? Time for a little snuggle? No problem! When you sit down you have a lot of fabric to wrap around the baby and you. Fabric that does not fall off onto the dirty, muddy ground or cursed wood chips that cling.
I tell you the list of pluses is endless including - but not limited to - your friend saying in an awed whisper, "I feel like I'm walking behind a Jedi".
Yes, yes, you are.
"Where can I get my cloak?" you ask?
I got mine from a year-round costume store but you can get a cloak on Amazon. It doesn't even have to be fancy - mine is just a thin polyester brown. Cloaks come in all sorts of fabrics. Velvet and wool and cotton and more. Get a faux-fur-lined one. Sing "Let It Go" in the snow. Go crazy. But above all, be warm. You're welcome.
P.S. Sorry for anyone who has that song stuck in their head now. Parents know.
I keep meeting parents who have pulled their kids out of school but it's not just me, statistics prove it: homeschooling is on the rise in the United States.
They all say the same thing when they step tentatively into one of our park days, hope and trepidation in their eyes:
My child is doing so much better now that they aren't in school.
I don't know what the heck I'm doing.
Yes, I nod. Yes. We all felt that way when we started.
So now that I've been doing this for nigh on 15 years, I thought I'd share some of my tips for new homeschoolers.
1. Find a community, but make sure it fits.
You will thrive much more easily with support–even if it's only online if you can't find it where you live–but you won't thrive if the community isn't a fit. You see, homeschooling isn't a one-size-fits all thing. There are unschoolers (self-directed educators) and curriculum homeschoolers. Online homeschoolers and Montessori-type homeschoolers. Religious homeschoolers and secular homeschoolers. The list goes on. And even then, inside each sub-category there can be differences. Radical unschoolers are different than academic unschoolers.
Homeschooling is a varied as people.
So find the group that fits you. And you know it fits when you can be your complete self, whether that self loves to share how the Bible is helping you find peace at home or you love to swear to emphasis how much it hurt to get your tattoo. I'm telling you, a group of non-school-going folks who high-5 you all the way is the only way to go.
So if you can't find a group, make one. That's what Facebook is for.
2. Decide what your mission is.
What do you value? What does success look like to you? How will you know you are successful? If families sat down and figured out their family mission statement many core fears would clear themselves up and and large wrong-turns in homeschooling could be avoided.
Your family has a unique view on life.
Does success to you mean a child can name all the capitals and do calculus? Does it mean they are skilled decision makers with a high Emotional Intelligence? Is empathy a core value? Commitment? Service? How will you know your child is successful? Is it when they pass a test you provide, when they show an extreme interest in something and follow through on it (however unconventional) or when they show they are responsible and can be independent?
Take your time figuring this out. "Create a core mission statement" is easy to say but may be very hard to do. Once you try to write it down you may end up facing your own issues. This is deep work folks, but it's the guiding star to your ship. Without it, how will you know where you are going or when you get there?
3. Learn who your child really is.
They were born who they. Now you can help them be the best they can be. But what the heck is that?
However you want to go about this I'm all heck-yeah but to help you understand what I'm talking about I'll share my favorite person-understanding thing. It's Myers-Briggs.
I'm a huge fan of the Myers-Briggs personality typing system (MBTI). It helped me understand people in ways 15 years of personal growth research never did. But mostly it helped me understand how to support my children.
All types are awesome and inside each type is a unique person. But once you realize not just in your heart but in your brain that there is honestly nothing wrong with your child who seems so shy or your child who can't seem to sit still or your child who is ALWAYS TALKING SO LOUDLY or your child who....
It gives you great peace of mind. It allows them to be who they truly are and–more importantly–who they are not.
4. Communicate. Clean it up. Grow.
Learn how to communicate, clean up your mistakes, and grow from them. You are going to be living with these little people, and tween people, and teenagers 24/7 for a long time. This close-quarters living will reveal all of your flaws to you. Your children will mirror them. They will poke at them. They will drive them to the forefront until you have to choice but to either transform yourself or live in a swirl of all-ages chaos.
Homeschooling your children will force you to become a better person. This will be your greatest challenge and your greatest gift. Embrace it. While they are in school learning you will be learning too. Read books on communication techniques. Take classes on forgiveness. Learn about the habits of highly successful families. Whatever your favorite flavor of self-help is, buy it in bulk.
The end result?
People will hear you homeschool and say "I don't know how you do it, I could never stay at home with my kids all day" and you will just smile because you LOVE living with your child/ren. True story.
5. Practice answering questions from people about what you do.
Most people can't help it, they don't know how else to start a conversation with a kid except "What grade are you in? Where do you go to school?" HOW you answer that question changes everything.
If you answer with a bow of the head, mumbling with apology, "We don't go to school...." you will be met with a similar head nod from someone feeling sorry for you. If, however, you answer with a huge smile of confidence and joy, "I'm homeschooled!" they will simply smile and say "Oh, that's great!" mirroring your enthusiasm.
Each person who "has concerns" over your educational choices is usually well-meaning. Genuinely concerned.
"How do you socialize? How will they get a job? Go to college?" They have no idea and they are alarmed so I help them feel better. I give statistics or success stories. I tell them how ANYONE who is 18 can go to community college. How 16 year olds can get associates degrees and transfer to major universities if they choose. I talk about apprenticeships and entrepreneurial paths. I tell them about the hundreds of social opportunities available to my family and how we have to say no to more things that we say yes to because there is not enough time to do all of the "social" things we could do.
Mostly, I say: when a child is at home over summer vacation, do they learn nothing? Not one thing? Not even on that family trip? Did they never talk to another person or "socialize"? If summer vacation can be ripe with learning opportunities and growth, just imagine what you can do all year with a parent or two focused on it with you.
I win them over, every time.
You see, most people don't realize homeschooling is actually a thing. If you are homeschooling, or considering it, chances are you've done a lot of research. Now it's a bigger topic online and in the news but just a decade ago it wasn't. I can't even count the number of parents my age I have met who said: You don't have to put your kids in school? I didn't know that.
Imagine what the oldest generations don't know about what we now know about education.
6. Have fun!
Believe in the power of having fun.
As adults we can appreciate what stress does to our bodies, our minds, and our spirits. Even doctors talk about how harmful it is. Homeschooling gives us a chance to cultivate an environment of our choosing. Like making a nest for a baby bird or tending the waters of an aquarium we get to cultivate the atmosphere we grow our children in.
It's hard to learn new ideas when you are scared, stressed, or anxious.
Think about it. Brainstorming is a huge technique for developing innovative ideas. The number one rule for great brainstorming is creating a safe space. Once people feel comfortable to share ideas–no matter how wacky they are–their ability to create new ideas multiplies.
And then, once they feel comfortable what do they do?
So you will know you have safe space when there is laughter. And when there is laughter you won't sweat the small stuff.
And that's worth staying home for, if you ask me.
This mom says it better than I could. She uses some all caps like I would. The thing is: mouth breathing is an epidemic no one is talking about.
I have worked with so many adults who have anxiety, depression, and more. Now I'm seeing so many kids get medicated.
One of the first things I wonder is: Are they breathing well?
We used to chew our food. Like CHEW IT. Because it was raw and we picked it off a bush while we hunted and gathered. But now we make smoothies and eat cheese. With weak tongues comes mouth breathing. If there is any reason for a stuffy nose (animal issues, food allergies, etc.) there is mouth breathing. If not trained when babies there can be mouth breathing.
Google "mouth taping". Sleeping with your mouth closed is critical to health and emotional, mental, and dare I say it, spiritual well being because when you breath IN you breath in YOU.
This mom gives a great story (with a happy ending!) and oodles of research.
Happy breathing! :)
I should be shouting this from the rooftops except I don't like heights. :) But seriously, for someone who has always been late like me this information has been a miracle. It might be your miracle too.
At first it was running to get the bus.
I can still feel the pavement smashing beneath my flats as I'm huffing and puffing to the bus stop in a mild panic. I did not want to slink home and tell my mom I needed a ride to school–again.
Later it was running to get to the Michigan State University Library to open it on time.
After four years of tardiness trauma they reluctantly let me go. I was a fantastic worker once I was there but having patrons stamping their feet in the cold waiting for me to unlock the door at 8:00am was not OK. I agreed with their decision even though it broke my heart. I loved that job.
I was trying to be on time. I wanted to be on time. But no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't do it.
It also didn't matter what I was doing.
Whether it was a fun activity or a dreaded activity–I was late and nothing I tried changed it. Not timers. Not starting earlier. Not putting out my clothes the night before. Not any of the 986 self-help solutions I gave a go. As the years ticked by being late took a toll on my self-esteem. I secretly wondered if something was wrong with me. I thought I was a good person but if I was, why did I keep people waiting? Maybe I wasn't such a good person after all.
But then I learned this ONE THING and everything changed.
I was reading up on Myers-Briggs again. It's my new sparkly interest, after all. One article said (I can't recall which): If you are late all of the time you might be a "P" in the Myers-Briggs Personalty Typing System. (I know I am. I'm ENFP.) "Perceivers" are people who like things to be open-ended. They like possibility. They may go on a vacation without an itinerary or pack at the last minute because they don't want to limit their options.
But that's not why they are late.
(They are also not late because they don't care. They may care very much.)
Perceivers are late because they think they can fit in "one more thing" before they go, and that thing takes more time than they have to spare.
It's an issue of calculating project-time.
It's also an issue of being deadline-inspired, which Perceivers are.
So it's 15 minutes until I have to go somewhere and, deadline looming, I'm suddenly inspired into taking an action: I know! I'll do the dishes. Or clean out that bookshelf. Or sort the recycling that's piled up. Or write back that friend. But that task ends up taking 25 minutes and now I'm 10 minutes late.
Come to find out this happens every time.
So the solution is: DON'T DO ANYTHING.
It's 20 minutes until I have to get in the car? Stop. No more projects. No last-minute things. Either get in the car and be early or sit and wait by the clock. Just don't entertain any of those ideas clamoring for attention now.
It was a strange thing getting to a meeting at someone's house on time today. We ended up chatting for a good while before the others showed up. I didn't mind, it was great hanging out and I felt good about myself. I had actually shown up on time with that easy grace I had so envied in others my whole life.
I had finally arrived.
Love you, Alora :)
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