6 Types of Love and Why They Matter

I can't stop thinking about the six types of love the ancient Greeks had. It could be because I'm such a happy-go-lucky person that any excuse to think about love lights me up.

But it's more than that.

It's about our culture and how we let ourselves express ourselves. It's about increasing the language around love (and feelings like it) so we can identify more clearly what a person means to us – and how to know where they fit into our lives so we can stop feeling hurt, start feeling appreciation, and acknowledge the rich tapestry of life around us.

I just said "tapestry". This must be serious.

:)

So here they are:

1. Eros, or sexual passion
   The Greeks thought this dangerous. Irrational. It could possess you. We think this is a good thing (at least the movies and books and magazines do). Right? Huh.
   
   
2. Philia, or deep friendship
   Not just Facebook and following, this is the deep emotional connection between brothers-in-arms (now brothers-and-sisters-in-arms). It involves loyalty, sacrifice, and sharing emotions. If it's between parents and children it's sometimes called storge.
   
   
3. Ludus, or playful love
   The playful love of children. The playful young love of teasing and flirting. But also the feeling you get when you are at a restaurant laughing and chatting with friends or out dancing. Dancing! Dancing with strangers may be the best ludic love example. Whoop! Whoop!
   
   
4. Agape, or love for everyone
   Love for all people. Universal loving kindness regardless of whether a person is a family member or a stranger.
   
   
5. Pragma, or longstanding love
   The deep understanding between married couples. Making compromises and showing patience and tolerance. And sharing the remote.
   
   
6. Philautia, or love of the self
   The Greeks knew there were two kinds: the narcissistic kind where you are all about yourself and the balanced kind where you had healthy self-love. This self-love increased your capacity to give love. It was a good thing.

Do you see all the love?

When I read about this years ago the Sagittarius, ENFP, bouncy person in me squealed at the idea of ludic love. It wasn't just me! There IS love flowing around the Denny's at 1:00am after we got done with our theatre show.

But then I also felt the penny drop at seeing eros love in its own category. Had I ever confused that type of love with something else? Or something else with that type of love? Um. Yes.

Looking through the list I felt comfort in pragma, the idea that love was meant to age, change, and grow more... married.

And then I started to see the tapestry of my life rewoven again with this new clarity of love and it was.... beautiful. Perfect. My mistakes. My lost loves. My breakups. My celebrations. My marriage. My kids. My everything.

So I am sharing this with you so that you, two, can re-weave your life then, your life now, and your life to come with all the layers and beauty of love.

And, yes, I know, I said "tapestry" twice. It really is serious. :)

Agape love you!
Alora

P.S. I read about the six types of love in this article. It's really fantastic. Check it out.