Is more than one person in the room cranky pants at the same time?
Here is one way I shift it, fast!
Sometimes only one of is is off-kilter.
When that happens the happy people usually ignore them and go about their merry way. Sometimes the prevailing joy in the room laughs cranky pants back into happy land. Sometimes the cranky one will go off for some alone time to recharge, reflect, and get back in the groove.
But when more than one person is not connected? And we are all together? That is a recipe for bickering and ick.
It often starts off subtly.
So subtle you don't know it's there.
A "no" here. A half-ask-half-order for something. But soon it starts to degrade. The air gets heavy. Gloves are off. "I TOLD you not to do that!" and "Mom! She..." I jump in with my lemon-pinched face and start to micromanage.
Then it hits me. Oh!
I see it.
I decide I don't want it.
And I take a big breath and shout out, "Who has the vibration in the room?"
"Me!", says the happiest person, beaming, their hand waving high in the air.
"Them," says everyone else, pointing at that shiny, happy person who is waving their hand in the air, beaming.
From there we know what to do. We follow them. We make a conscious choice to match the frequency of their energy instead of our own. My kids know this. I repeat it to them often enough: "Like energy attracts. So if you are cranky and they are not, either you both have to end up cranky, you both have to end up happy, or you have to separate to stay where you are. Which one would you prefer?"
"Who has the highest vibration in the room?" is a reminder that since we are all eating breakfast together, or in the car together, or on an outing together... we get to decide if we want to keep fighting the happy person or start joining the happy person.
I haven't seen a time yet where we decided not to join in.
It's eye opening.
When we play this "follow the leader game" the bummed-out people usually blush when they realize what's been going on. Or nod. Or apologize. Negativity often wants to justify itself. It wants to fight to exist. So if it's around a happy person it will battle with both fists. Happy person makes a joke? Cranky person gets offended. Happy person accidentally bumps cranky person? Cranky person gets all miffed. Happy person doesn't even NOTICE something... that cranky person is all up in arms about.
We realize that we have been beating down the happy. Popping all of the pretty bubbles. Oops.
So, who has the highest vibration in the room?
It's not a contest. We don't keep track. And we don't feel jealous, either. We feel relieved when we all find our way again the way we like it: happy together.
What if you are reading the story Cinderella and your little one asks, "Mommy, why are Cinderella's step-sisters so mean?"
How do you explain this to child?
"Because some people are mean" doesn't work. Not with Law of Attraction. Some people may act mean, but no one is born mean.
The answer actually very simple really, when answered with the basis of Law of Attraction and all of the teachings of "Love Is All There Is" on the planet from time immemorial.
"They are mean, honey, because they aren't loving themselves. They aren't connected to their Source. That's why they feel bad and act mean."
There is only love and we are either allowing it or pinching it off. Everything we feel or do is in relationship to that.
Some time later, when someone was complaining about mean old Captain Hook from Peter Pan your child may look at you and say, "He just doesn't love himself".
When it comes to the simple truths, kids always get it.
Everyone is "good" when they are connected. It doesn't mean we want to be around them when they are "mean", but it does remind us all that love really is all there is.
That's a nice world to grow up in, I think.
For when your child wants something and you are feeling pressed for time…
...or you have something else to do.
Lately my four and a half year old daughter has been saying, “Just one more book and I promise I’ll go to bed.”
Sometimes I read an extra book. Sometimes I don’t.
And the kicker:
Tonight she asked for an extra book. I didn’t want to read another book.
“No, honey, no more books. Time for bed.”
“Will you lay down with me?”
This sounds so cute. Honestly. Who wouldn’t want to cuddle with their adorable little kiddo?
Except my mind flashes back to when this meant, “I’m not tired and I don’t want you to be tired either so how about you pretzel yourself onto my tiny bed while I do jumping jacks on your head?”
I also thought about the 9,367,851 things I wanted to do before bed. Or the fact that I wanted a break. Or that I still had to get the baby to bed or…
In that brief pause of not answering my daughter an inspired, intuitive angelic message came through. It translated into something like: “You can do anything for two minutes”.
That made so much sense to me I said, “OK” and before I knew it my daughter was scootching over to make room for me.
I pretzeled myself onto her tiny bed and braced for impact.
Wow, she really wanted to cuddle this time.
It was so cute, her arms wrapped around me. I smiled and sighed contentedly. I thought, “What could be better than this?
She says: “Let’s look at the ceiling and pretend we’re seeing fireworks.”
Wow, this is so much better! There we were, our heads together, our arms around each other, pointing out imaginary fireworks.
“Look! A red one!”
“One in the shape of a flower!”
“I like the purple one!”
It was one of the most magical things I’ve ever experienced with my child. It was so simple, so inspired and so real.
The Not Part
Afterwards I realized the most important thing I did was what I did NOT do.
I did not say to her, “Ok, but only for two minutes.”
I simply thought, “I can do anything for two minutes” and so I surrendered to those two minutes. In doing that I ended up with a whole lot more.
We are busy, no doubt about it.
Sometimes we can’t just stop what we’re doing and play (dinner on the stove, baby on the changing table, UPS at the door). Most of the time we might not stop because we really don’t have “all day”.
But what about two minutes? Do you have that?
Not: “OK, FINE, but only for two minutes…”
I am talking about thinking to yourself: “OK! I can do anything for two minutes!” while saying to your child, “YES”.
If you can surrender for just two minutes you leave the door open a crack…
…and magic might just wander in.
If you try this little technique (it only takes a few minutes, max) it will make your outings with kids - of any age - easier, or more relaxing, or more fun, or more in the flow than ever before.
What is it this technique?
I'll tell you!
Set your intent.
Your brain will look for what you tell it to. Unless you don't tell it anything, in which case it will look at what IS. If you love what is, you're golden. If you are late, frazzled, frustrated, faced with untied shoes, someone-forgot-their-water, and other things that hassle you then, well, not so golden. More of a tarnished, rusty color. Covered in dirt. Like your kid dug it up in the backyard with one of your good spoons.
So... tell your brain what to focus on!
We do this out loud in my car. For example, if I am taking the kids to the Aquarium I might say, "My intent is to bring my Inner Being with me. To flow. To feel like the Universe is organizing everything easily for my benefit. To see love. To feel love. And to enjoy my amazing kids, And So It Is."
Everyone repeats, "And So It Is."
We say "And So It Is" so that we know when someone is finished. This way each person has time to think about what they want, listen to their intuition, and say it all without interruptions, even if they pause in between sentences for some time.
And we repeat "And So It Is" because it's our way of saying, "I support you in your intent. Yay!"
We take turns, but not in order. They call it Popcorn Style. "Anyone want to go next?"
And no one is required to set an intent or is shamed for not setting one. Ever. It really, truly is optional.
Sometimes my intent is short.
"My intent is to laugh out loud and have a blast!"
Sometimes my intent is aimed at calm.
"My intent is to feel relaxed."
Sometimes I don't know what exactly to ask for, so I intend how I want to feel when it is over.
"My intent is that I come home feeling amazing, reconnected, and rejuvenated, and totally in love with my family and life."
I use this setting intent process to gage where I am, to hear what my own needs are, and to choose what I want to attract and experience and feel throughout my outing whether it's a trip to the park, a family birthday party, or the zoo.
Do we set intent every time?
No. Not every time. Because for me, "every time" feels like a chore.
We set intent when I feel inspired to. When I can tell we need to redirect our focus (read: people are cranky or fussy) or when we are going on a long trip or Big Outing and I, for one, need to keep my ducks in a row because when mom's ducks are not in a row, it gets really quacky.
Sometimes one of the kids will pipe up, "Mom! We need to set our intent!" They know what's what. They really do.
Not only will setting intent in the car help your outings go more smoothly, it's fun to hear what your child/ren come up with. Plus, it feels so good to see them set their intent to be happy, healthy, and loving.
I don't know about you, but that makes me do a little dance in my bucket seat.
Really Good Life... With Kids
Tips for how to live a fantastic life while parenting, raise connected, successful kids, and navigate relationships... happily.
Love, Love, Alora
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